I once heard a radio show about how to keep a marriage strong over time.
The advice started as expected.
Make eye contact.
Express appreciation.
Have a regular date night.
All solid advice.
Then the host said something different.
Do something new together.
It didn’t have to be big.
Or expensive.
Or impressive.
Learn to knit.
Take a class.
Visit a place you’ve never been.
Try something neither of you is good at yet.
That idea stayed with me.
And it changed how I think about relationships, creativity, and problem-solving.
Why Doing Something New Works
New experiences wake the brain up.
When we try something unfamiliar, our attention sharpens.
Curiosity increases.
Energy rises.
Neuroscience backs this up.
Novel experiences activate dopamine, a chemical linked to motivation, learning, and creativity
(Source: National Institute of Mental Health; Stanford Behavioral Neuroscience research).
In simple terms:
new creates momentum.
New Experiences Strengthen Relationships
When you do something new with someone else, the effect multiplies.
You don’t just remember what you did.
You remember how it felt.
And you associate that feeling with the person you were with.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who try new and challenging activities together report higher relationship satisfaction than couples who stick to routine activities.
The activity itself isn’t the magic.
The newness is.
This Applies Beyond Marriage
This isn’t only about romantic relationships.
It works with:
- Family
- Friends
- Teams
- Business partners
- Clients
Shared novelty builds connection faster than shared history alone.
It refreshes conversations.
It shifts dynamics.
It creates stories instead of habits.
Creativity Needs Novelty Too
When I feel stuck creatively, it’s rarely because I lack skill or experience.
It’s because I’m stuck in repetition.
Creativity needs new input to produce new output.
When I’m blocked, I don’t push harder.
I change something.
A new environment.
A different tool.
A topic outside my usual lane.
A constraint I’ve never used before.
Almost immediately, ideas start moving again.
That’s not accidental.
Studies from the University of California show that exposure to new stimuli increases cognitive flexibility and problem-solving ability.
New in.
New out.
A Simple Practice
You don’t need a big plan.
Ask this question often:
“What’s one new thing we could try?”
Together.
At work.
In life.
On your own.
Small counts.
Awkward counts.
Temporary counts.
New is the point.
Final Thought
If something feels flat, stale, or stuck, don’t overanalyze it.
Introduce novelty.
Do something new.
Energy follows.
Connection follows.
Creativity follows.
Every time.